how are they even alive
eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs
#I WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are so picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)
oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because
1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone’s doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
2) idiots can’t die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker’s lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em
by the way i never elaborated on “koalas sit in trees all day screaming” but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like
Also, it doesn’t matter that they’re eating brain-killing poison, because their brains are already tiny, and smooth rather than folded they way most animal brains are to increase neuron surface area. Also full of holes? These animals are so fuckin dumb, they’re basically like if vertebrates tried to evolve a scale insect.
Fucking dumbasses I love them
so they’re the terrestrial equivalent of sunfish?
im crying omg
What’s the bird equivalent
WITHOUT A DOUBT it is the kakapo, the cutest yet worst-evolutionarily-pranked bird in existence
i believe there are only 148 of them left ON EARTH (and they all have names!!! like Felix and Guapo and Gumboots its CHARMING) because they evolved with zero natural predators and therefore are FLIGHTLESS but sometimes FORGET THEY ARE FLIGHTLESS and jump out of trees
their natural instinct when faced with danger is to just…freeze and not move….which is basically one tiny step above just walking into the hungry maw of the invasive cat/ferret/rat/raccoon/etc etc
they are also Very Bad at mating and, oh btw, mate only ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS OR SO when one particular berry (the Rimu fruit) has a good year
anyway they are the worlds heaviest parrot and only flightless one, can weigh like 4kg/9 pounds (BIG FRIEND), and if they can avoid being blissful evolutionary dum dums can live 60 TO 100 YEARS if only they can keep it together, bless them
Oh my god
It is illegal for me to not include this video
They don’t ‘forget how to fly’ - Kakapo’s will climb trees and then yes, jump to then glide down. Its not always elegant.
I don’t think people understand how the kakapo literally evolved to suit it’s enviroment and it was super well adapted!!!! Until settlers brought cats and dogs and foxes because NEW ZEALAND HAS NO NATURAL MAMMILIAN PREDATORS because birds like the kakapo and the kiwi only had to worry about like, hawks and eagles. And that’s it. They’re not dumb! They’re not evolutionarily backwards! They are literally dying out because of introduced species killing them that they naturally have no defense against!
If you only had to worry about flying birds, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything finding you by scent; which means you can afford to be slow and conserve energy. Kakapos freeze when they meet a predator because their plumage is super suited to blending in seamlessly to its natural habitat. If your predator uses sight to track prey and if that prey can camouflage then buddy!! That’s a good defense mechanism!!
People often assume that evolution is a process like levelling an RPG character into an unkillable god.
It is not.
Evolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.
Meet the skimmer.
Skimmers have evolved to fly along the surface of the water with their lower bill partly underwater, grabbing whatever they bump into.
This is a completely ridiculous means of feeding and nothing besides the three skimmer species does it. Dragging their bills through the water creates huge amounts of drag, so they need more energy to fly than usual and specialised skull and neck adaptations to avoid ripping their own heads off. Skimmers also cannot see what their bills touch underwater, they just stick them in the water and hope for the best while trying not to crash into stuff and break their bills (which happens).
Skimmers are exactly as ridiculous as koalas but by god they’re going to do their thing.
“Evolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.” is one of the best descriptions of evolution i ever heard. It doesn’t matter if your build is a joke build, it just has to work. A good part of the fun in studying evolutionary biology is finding out HOW IN HELL do these joke builds actually work. Everyone can look at a wolf and say “what a perfect predator, the terror of every herbivore, i stan”, but finding out why his distant cousin, the maned wolf, decided to walk on stilts,eat berries and practiced what’s basically ant-assisted agricolture? That’s when the fun begins.
I physically recoiled from the koala noises.
What’s that quote? If it’s stupid but it works, it’s not stupid
so someone just said they’re “really interested in history” how careful do you have to be?
“i just think history is interesting in general! i’m not interested in any specific part of it”: this person is most likely safe. never drop your guard though
“i’m interested in this specific subject or time period in history. (ex. ancient egypt, the golden age of piracy, the history of the printing press”: still probably safe. be on the lookout for certain risky historical subjects. you should know them you see them
“i’m really into WW2 history”: this is the caution zone, there’s plenty of valid reasons to be into WW2, but if they start talking about how Operation Sealion totally could have succeeded, it’s time to abort
“i’m specifically into roman history, the crusades, prussian military history, and WW2”: danger! do NOT talk about history with this person. in fact, do not talk to this person at all. you will regret it, you do not want to know what they think of the treaty of versailles or why germany lost the first world war
this post has inspired three different responses
1) people who lack any reading comprehension skills whatsoever and seem to think i’m saying “being into history makes you bad”
2) history students/historians saying some variation of “tbh this is true”
3) the kind of people my last point was specifying calling me slurs
The funniest kind of comments are people saying ‘this is ridiculous because it’s super easy to tell who white supremacists are without this witch-hunt shit!” who reblog history posts from blatantly obvious white supremacists
i literally have 37 followers on here so i doubt anyone will see this but something FUCKED! UP! is happening right now in France and i want non-french people to hear about it:
Basically, a french rapper named Nick Conrad made a song a few months ago named « Pendez les blancs » or in english « Hang up white people ». And the lyrics and music video portray what the world would have been like had Black people enslaved white people. It’s nothing else than a reversal of history; of what white people really did to Black people back in the days.
But…. white french people being as annoying as ever, he got sued and now he’s in trial and facing charges for RACISM AGAINST WHITE PEOPLE (lmao).
He lost his job and will probably be found guilty cause french justice SUCKS.
If you have twitter you can share this thread written in english that sums up the situation:
https://twitter.com/audekonan/status/1083056275930468352?s=21
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(and yes they really used the words « black supremacist »)
What’s your least favorite piece of art and why?
Be critical and concise not just rude with no reason. I enjoy understanding why people like certain art and don’t jive with others.
Nvm i messaged you but this seems to be the most efficient. To be honest, anything by rothko. I get what they did for modernism, i get it’s interpretation of raw emotion i just feel like it’s nonsense. I connect with a resemblance of the real and this abstract notion of mixed palates that somehow relate to some latent feeling means nothing to me. It is simultaneously too abstract and too uniform. It’s emotional depth is partitioned between color. A denial of the intermixed complexity of true emotion. This combined with its simplicity of form are nauseating. Pollock comes to mind but at least his form is purely emotional in drive. Rothko comes at us with a pathological diagnosis of our subjective experience. I feel this is unfair and denies us our relation to relative imagery. His blocks of color are a challenge of pretentious self reflection. Yes these colors fuel an emotional reaction but they say nothing of us as a societal cultural agent or you as a creator. They simply are raw without being legitimately so. I want rothko on the page not his meta critique of what he believes i or he is. Or is his interpretation of his surroundings that simplistically meta. Regardless i want the subjectivity of the artist themselves not their grand critique on the subjectivity of others.
